Another WWE pay per view has come and gone, which obviously means it’s time once again for me to give you fine readers five things we’ve learned from the show.
We are well and truly on the road to WrestleMania and the first stop was in Houston, Texas for Elimination Chamber. History made, moments made and champions crowned – but what did we learn from that night?
1. Anything boys can do…
We’ve had some truly terrible Elimination Chamber matches over the years. I won’t soon forget Dolph Ziggler just screaming instructions to people for 15 minutes and none of it really happening anyway. But the 6 tag teams inside this years opening contest put on a great show. There were some cracking spots (double crossbodies? Yes please. And Nia went through that pod like, well, an irresistable force), a couple of really excellent sequences, plenty of near falls and some BRAND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! I mean, we knew there’d be new ones, but they were some good new ones. An honourary mention must go to Mandy Rose for full-Cesaro-ing her way through probably the biggest match of her career. Even Corey’s creepiness couldn’t take away from that.
Also, can we for realz get Beth Phoenix on commentary more often? THANKS!
2. Make the Intercontinental Championship great again
I’m not sure what more I need to say about this other than Big Bob’s run was a busted flush before it started, and it could only get better right? Well the belt is on everyone’s favourite Irishman now (I’m only half Irish, I don’t count mates) and I’m already excited for what we might get from The Extroardinary Man who etc. etc.
3. We want Becky!
I mean, we do, right? Just about everone in attendance at Elimination Chamber was chanting ‘She’s The Man’ right before Becky Lynch battered Charlotte Flair with a crutch. And then went after Ronda. And then the both of them. And an awful lot has been written about how popular Becky Lynch is but you tell me the last time you heard someone cheered on quite so brilliantly for swinging a weapon around. I feel Stone Cold levels of delight at Becky being in a ring, and Stone Cold levels of childlike rage at MY MAN not being allowed to have her match. I don’t doubt we’re getting a version of Becky and ‘mania, but right now WWE has got me wrapped right around their finger with regards to how they’re gonna get there. AND I FUCKING LOVE IT.
4. Welcome to Wrestlemania: The Viper v The Phenomenal One?
I’m not sure I want to write too much here, as there’s not a whole lot that excites me about this prospect, but what do we think? Is their little interaction inside the Chamber enough to build 7 weeks of feuding towards a big ol’ match? Will there be something at Fastlane that puts one of them in the hunt for a belt? Will Randy just end every week’s Smackdown Live by RKO-ing someone out of absolutely nowhere?
I know this is titled ‘5 things we learned’ but I’unno, something’s going on here so I’m calling it early: VIPER’S PIT MATCH INSIDE THE PUNJABI PRISON, WINNER IS ADDED TO THE RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH. Or maybe just a 1-on-1 as a piss break.
5. We really WERE sleeping on Kofi, weren’t we?
His showing in the week, at like an HOUR, was nothing short of great. But then he went and had another good run inside the Elimination Chamber. We all know how good Kofi can be in the ring, there is so much evidence on the network of him having barnstormers. And as the commentators kept pointing out his fun, pancakes n’ booty-o’s persona of the last few years as part of The New Day has been a delight. But when you let him fly in singles competition the Ghanian-Jamaican (ahem) can absolutely go. The chanting after he eliminated Orton alone should leave us in no doubt as to how loved Kofi Kingston is.
Man. I wanted him to win so much.