Are you at a low point in your life?
Have you ever felt like you are in a pit and you just can’t get out? Have you been suffering losses in your life lately? You should not be afraid. You should not worry. We are The Dark Order and we are here to save YOU. We will show you the light as you grab the hand that has been reached out to you. We will be your loudest supporters and your best friends. You need not even think about losing once you’re by our side.
The Dark Order is the greatest group of people in the history of mankind led by the TNT Champion, our very own, Mr Brodie Lee. He, like all the other members of The Dark Order, is a winner and all he does is win.
With an unparalleled record in All Elite Wrestling, Mr Brodie Lee is on top of the roster. He is not only the greatest wrestler alive, but he is also the greatest human being to ever live on this planet which is why we call him The Exalted One. Mr Brodie Lee isn’t the only noteworthy name in The Dark Order, we also have Stu Grayson and not-so-Evil Uno who have wrestled all across the world and are currently the second and third best wrestlers in the world respectively.
I’m sure that you wouldn’t have any doubt about the fact that The Dark Order is the best stable to ever exist, but if you need any confirmation, just go back a few weeks and watch Dynamite where The Dark Order defeated the combined team of Hangman Adam Page and Kenny Omega, The Young Bucks and FTR and keep in mind all of these teams have been given the title of “The Best Tag Team” ever by several foolish, ignorant, so-called wrestling critics, they don’t know what they’re talking about. They are jealous of The Dark Order and to be fair why wouldn’t they be and we don’t feel sorry for them because they also had the opportunity to join The Dark Order and look where they are; sitting on their couches all day long, busy nitpicking small things from wrestling shows that don’t even give two hoots about them.
You don’t want to be like them, living an unhealthy life with no purpose apart from giving ratings to matches that don’t even feature The Dark Order because to be fair they won’t be getting eighty-minute classics from us because all we do is squash our opponents and win. WE ARE WINNERS. Which another group in professional wrestling has been as prolific as us? That’s right. No one. Mr Brodie Lee has a record of 9-0 in AEW, being undefeated and unlike the AEW website says Mr Brodie Lee did not lose to Jon Moxley because he didn’t tap out, nor was he pinned in the AEW Championship match. The referee screwed him because he was also jealous of The Dark Order.
You want to be a winner too, don’t you? With us, on your side, you’ll never lose. We’ll make sure that your hand is raised after every achievement in your life be it as trivial as beating Cody for the TNT title or as hard as taking the trash out after you’ve had dinner. Be a part of The Dark Order and all your worries will go away, you will be a part of something bigger and better. We will give you a purpose to fight and to win. You will gain self-confidence and feel free for the first time in your life once you join us.
The Dark Order is expanding as you are reading this and it grows stronger with every new member because we believe that strength lies in numbers. Over the past few weeks, many big names have joined us such as Colt Cabana, Anna Jay and our newest member Tay Conti and we were there for them at their lowest when no one else was there for them. We gave Colt Cabana his first win in over four weeks and he hasn’t lost since he sided with Mr Brodie Lee. His life has been changed by joining us. He feels happier and more confident. He does not seek approval from The Elite anymore because he doesn’t need to. This is only one example of the many lives we’ve turned around for the better and we guarantee you that joining us is the best decision that you’ll ever make because you won’t ever feel unappreciated, overlooked and alone again, and we also have Chilies.
Stop losing and start winning.
Join The Dark Order – #24.